So you lost? Live with it!
I was recently asked to speak at the finals of a contest involving four schools who had each won through to the finals of a national speaking competition. My speech was to be delivered between the presentations and the announcement of the result. I was asked to title my speech "You are all winners." Of course I didn't. Why? Because they were not all winners, three of the teams were about to be told that they had lost. So how could I tell them that they were winners...just because they made the final?
What I did tell them though was that if the three "losers" asked the judging panel WHY they were not successful this time, they could go away and improve their presentations for next time, because there would be a next time...if that was their choice.
On a similar note I recently won a nice contract that will pay my mortgage for a few months. I was up against four other training providers (one of which is probably reading this article) who lost. That doesn't mean that the other four organisations are about to go out of business. It simply means that, on this particular occasion, someone else was able to provide the prospective client with the service they were looking for, better, faster or cheaper, than they could. I know for a fact that one of the "losers" called the client and received some valuable and constructive feedback as to why they didn't get the work.
Flipping the coin, however, my rugby team recently lost a game to a side that, given their performances this season, they should have won by a country mile...but they didn't. It meant that we lost two points - but not the league!
I guess what I am trying to say is losing out on one occasion does not mean the end of the world. Your career, or your season, need not be over. Life is like that. Treat is as just one more broken pane in the stained glass window of life and move on. Don't keep playing it over in your mind. When a top team loses a match they might look at the video of the game once, just to see if there were any fundamental mistakes that could be corrected, but they won't go over it again and again looking for someone to blame. Neither should you. Looking to apportion blame or "appoint a scape goat" will only cause you and the rest of your team to be over cautious and suspicious next time. You could stifle any creativity in your team through fear of making a mistake. So take it on the chin and let it go.
If you are consistently losing, though, that might be natures way of telling you to look at your methods, your coaching staff or even a couple of your players. Becoming complacent of losing out could, and probably will, lead to your certain demise in this particular game or industry.
Finally, let me add one more important point here. Winning a contract or a game does not mean that you have made it...but that is a whole different article!
