Personal reflection

I have always tried to be open and honest in my writings to you all and, in fact, I have received much positive feedback because of it. I have to admit, though, that I was going to keep the following quiet. After all, I am an "internationally recognised MOTIVATIONAL speaker!"...aren't I?

I am, occasionally, a gambling man - although I only tend to wager on rugby and, as I have a good knowledge of the game, it's not so much gambling as taking a calculated risk with money. Anyway I digress. Many gamblers are happy to tell you when they win, and how much but stay quiet about it when they lose. I'm not one of those, as a gambler or as a person. I have regaled you with my successes and achievements for more than four years now so I guess it's time to tell you something less positive. After all, if I only ever told you the good stuff, you might start to think that my life was a bed of roses 24/7 and frankly it isn't.

Sometimes the universe throws something at us to kick our backsides and today was my day. I was sat in a café in the marina here on the beautiful Algarve in Portugal watching the world go by and playing with ideas for this newsletter when I took notice of the song that was playing on the radio. I recognised the song as one by Ronan Keating. Although I'm not sure of the title the chorus made me think and forced me to open my eyes and ultimately my heart. The words that inspired me were "...and I don't want the world to see me 'cause I don't think that they'd understand." Those words hit me like a brick. I realised that this is where I have been for the last three months...hiding from the world and everyone in it including those who care about me. So I have a message for all of those people whom I have ignored or at least taken my time to reply to... I'm sorry; sorry for not replying to calls, emails and messages and sorry for making excuses for not coming instead of telling you the truth. My truth is that I didn't tell the truth because I was (I say "was" - I'm not now) ashamed of where I have been.

As I write this I am three quarters of the way through my worst year for four years in terms of income and invoices issued. This is partly because I took the first two months off to prepare for my adventure in Argentina in February. It is also due to the fact that on 27th June this year I had a breakdown. Yes...Mr invincible finally succumbed to the pressures of what could be described as a three year physical and emotional Armageddon! In a period of just 34 months I had climbed Kilimanjaro at 5800 metres and Aconcagua at 6962 metres. Throw in a jog through 148 miles of the Sahara desert, and all of the training that goes with it, and you have three physically draining years. I had also grown my business year on year and handled a divorce with apparent ease ("ohhhhh, no you didn't") So on the morning of 27th June, I woke as usual and got out of bed, then immediately fell back in again. I honestly did not have the energy, physical or mental, to stand up and I was scared. I called my doctor from my bed and arranged an appointment for later that day - now I had a reason to force myself to get out of bed. It is one of the hardest things I have ever done physically in my life (and I have done some stuff!)

The next three weeks were purgatory. I had run out of all of the energy and enthusiasm and everything else that had kept me going during the last eight and a half years while I had built up my business. Worse still, though, was that I felt as though I couldn't tell anyone about it because in my head I am a renowned inspirational speaker and I was supposed to be able to overcome this sort of thing just by using the power of positive thought...and I couldn't. In short, whatever it was - I couldn't be bothered. Of course I kept all of my speaking engagements and I performed to my usual standards, better in a few cases, but as soon as I was back in my car I went back into my shell. I became a master of state management (altering my mental and physical state to suit an occasion.) On one occasion, I was driving the 7 miles from York back to my home and I had to stop to sleep. I slept in my car for more than an hour, just three miles from my house. I couldn't be bothered to write, to eat, to answer the phone or emails. All I wanted to do was sleep, and sleep I did. On one particular day I dragged myself out of bed at 11:30, went downstairs, and fell asleep on my sofa until 4 pm. For the first time that I can recall in a long time I felt as though I had no choice, I just had to sleep.

I'm happy to say that I am well on the way to recovery now and, as is usual with me, I have discovered a huge amount about myself and learned some valuable lessons along the way. Lessons that I hope will give me back my drive and enthusiasm to make it through the next eight and a half years. Let me share a few of them with you.

• I am learning what (and who) is truly important to me
• I haven't broken into a sweat for at least three months and don't intend to for another one although I have gained 8 kg in weight and I don't care (yet!)
• I have cancelled my planned trip to race in the Arctic Circle in February
• I have learned to turn off my computer for up to 48 hours at a time
• I have started socialising on a 'school night'
• I am learning to say "yes" to more things that I want to do and "no" to more things that I don't
• I am learning that friends come through doors that I have forgotten that I left open
• I have discovered that the place you might expect support offers only ridicule!

I'm almost back to normal now so I intend starting to train for the 2008 London marathon just to keep my weight down now and I will be on top of emails and messages before too long, so if you're still waiting for an answer - it's on the way.

However, as in most cases, there is always someone worse off than you. I heard the following conversation on the 08:10 from Leeds to Liverpool...

Train Inspector to Conductor: "How are you this morning?" Conductor: "I'm looking forward to tonight - we are going out to celebrate my birthday" Inspector: "Oh, happy birthday. How old are you?" Conductor: "56 - it's only single figures until I retire now!"

Wow...what an attitude to choose to accompany your next 9 years...

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Achievements Inventory

I can listen to the radio on my mobile phone. Now, if I can just send an email using it...

I wrote this newsletter...

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Recommended reading, listening or watching

Have you ever wondered why perfectly good relationships end or friends that you thought would be around for life disappear? Have you ever met someone and wondered why? Perhaps there is someone in your life that you see as so important to you, you just can't imagine what you would do if they were not there for any reason...me too. Personally I have been through all of these scenarios at some point or other in my life so far and I fully expect to experience at least some of them again. However nowadays I am more relaxed with people coming and going in my life; it happens. Not everyone will like us or appreciate us and not everyone who seems important to you right now will still be so in the future. If, like me, you wonder why, then this poem, A Reason, A Season or A Lifetime, might help you to understand some of the who, what, why and when's of relationships.

"A Reason, A Season or A Lifetime" was sent to me a few years ago and, like a lot of stuff, it just ended up on a pile waiting to be 'actioned'. I did nothing with it until I needed to and then, when I found it and read it again, everything started to make sense. I have since read it again on several occasions, when I need clarification - in fact a copy of it hangs on my office wall. As with everything else I write about, this poem might not be the truth, but it works for me and I have adopted it as my truth. Let me know what you think.

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What do I know now that I didn't know a month ago?

On a speed boat, the people at the back will get much wetter than those at the front...

Never EVER go for an Indian meal wearing a woollen polo neck jumper!

It is possible to watch seven full games of rugby and one full Grand Prix in a 48 hour period.

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What do I still not know that I didn't know last month?

The Liberal Democrats...why?

A 5-day game of cricket that no-one wins...why?

Men who tuck rugby shirts in their jeans or even worse trousers...why?

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Actionstep

I make no apologies if this sounds a little like an ex-smoker telling you to 'STOP' or something similar. One expression that has kept coming into my head recently is "Physician - heal thy-self!"

Given my confession, you might wonder why I didn't notice what was happening to me. My truth is that perhaps I did and I chose to ignore it. I have said before that if my car gets a 'knocking sound' I will take it to the car doctor or if it needs a service I will book it in for one on a regular basis but me - the guy who drives it? Oh he can wait. Well, no more. I have made a note of my 'symptoms' and the clues I was given so that I never end up here again. Here are a few of them - you might like to make a check on yourself...after all, if we can't learn from other people's mistakes what can we learn from..?

IF...

• ...you are waking up regularly during the night thinking about things
• ...you then find that waking up is something of a challenge and you feel constantly tired
• ...things that you committed to become a pressure or a chore
• ...Rice Krispies become your staple diet
• ...finding the energy to iron a shirt or change the sheets on your bed is something to celebrate
• ...people who truly know you say there is something wrong...

You just might need to slow down and take a rest.

And if I have taken one technique away from all of this it is that "Motion creates Emotion!" The simple act of doing something might be enough to overcome a whole day of doing nothing.

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Feedback

We held the first of my planned one-day "WAKE UP...to who you are and what you deserve!" road shows in Leeds last week. For those of you who might still be making up your mind whether to come along or not here are just a few of the positive comments we received from the delegates.

"Great stuff thank you. Realistic and reinforcing and very inspiring."

"Inspirational. Helps me realise I am capable and not to be so hard on myself."

"Fabulous workshop. Informative and entertaining. Taking away lots of positive steps to unleash the 'rebel'"

"I feel positive and motivated to succeed. I will write a best seller."

There is a list of dates and venues for upcoming programmes below. Perhaps we will see some of you there?

One of the wonderful things about the internet is that I can sit and rant at a computer screen without upsetting anyone around me. As well as giving me a chance to 'get it out there' it also gives anyone (who chooses to log on) the opportunity to have their say as well. It's great to see that some of you are already reading my extra ramblings on my blog and having your say as well. As I always point out, the views there are my truth and not the truth. It just so happens that some of you actually agree with me when it comes to personal responsibility for what happens to and around us.

So keep it coming please - especially if you don't agree with me. I would hate to go through life not learning that what I believe as the truth is, in fact, not.

If you want to read my truth on the state of youth today or even my views on disabled and parent child parking spaces or daytime TV (namely the ego that is Jeremy Kyle) or other such diverse subjects, just log on to http://blog.clivegott.com and have your say...

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This months adventure

This month I got very close to one of my goals, which is to swim with dolphins in their natural environment (not in an artificial pool), when I was privileged to join a 'Dolphin Sea-Fari' during my visit to Portugal. It was a surprise to all of us who went along so that made it all the more enjoyable. Simply put, myself and six others boarded a large inflatable dingy driven by a young man with an obvious need for speed (not a challenge for me there) and a communication link with other boats.

Click to see the large version of this photograph

These two combined ensured that, when his colleague in another boat sighted a pod of 50+ dolphins some 13 miles away, our driver was able to get us there in good time to witness the sight of these magnificent creatures going about their business with not a care in the world! There were dolphins as far as the eye could see as my picture will testify.

Click to see the large version of this photograph

For those of you who are due to visit the Algarve, I can strongly recommend this half-day adventure - and the ride back was an adventure in itself!

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Speaking dates

Details of current and upcoming events.

Workshops & Seminars

November 3rd 2007
Vapor Trails
closing key note at the Professional Speakers Association European conference in London.
For information go to www.professionalspeakers.org

November 7th 2007, November 8th 2007 & November 24th 2007
WAKE UP to who you are and what you deserve
(Open programme)

November 7th 2007 : Cambridge
November 8th 2007 : Liverpool
November 24th 2007 : Sheffield
PDF download of event details

December 1st 2007
Vapor Trails
Junior Chamber International National Conference
Doncaster

January 12th 2008
Fast Signs International Convention
Nevada, USA

February 27th 2008
WAKE UP to who you are and what you deserve
(Open programme)
Leeds

Other Events

December 5th 2007
North East Professional Speakers Association Christmas Special
Jarvis Hotel, Wetherby, West Yorkshire.
PDF download of event details

For further details for any of the events mentioned above, please contact:
clive@clivegott.com

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If...

Questions to stimulate conversation either in the office or over dinner.

Q1. IF the weekend we have just enjoyed is referred to as last weekend and the weekend we are about to enjoy is next weekend...what happened to this weekend?

Q2. IF somehow you were given an extra hour of time every single day what would you do with it? What is stopping you finding the time to do that now anyway?

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