Personal reflection

Ramble 1.
I was challenged, in a positive way, recently to explain why I am so open and include so much of my personal life and information in my newsletters. My answer was, I hope, honest and to the point. I did partly explain in this newsletter last year when I told about my breakdown. I said that I have always wanted to be open and honest with people who show me the respect of reading my ramblings. I am also happy to dispel and ideas that inspirational or motivational speakers (whatever you choose to refer to us as) spend their entire lives on cloud 9. Of course I can't speak for all of us but those that I am close to would agree with me when I say there are times when we look at what we do and say "sometimes this stuff just doesn't work." My truth is that this stuff does work, it's just that sometimes it is harder to put it into practice than it seems.

Not being honest enough to spill the beans about the negative side of life is a little like a gambler being happy to tell you when they win but keeping it quiet when they don't, or even worse pretending that they never lose. This might lead people who are less aware of the rules of gambling that they too can be successful 100 percent of the time. In the same way it would be irresponsible and dishonest of me to lead you to believe that my life is full of fun and success 100 percent of the time. It isn't...s**t happens. But as has been said by many people before me and by many more after me "It's not what happens to us that makes a difference, it's how we react (or respond) to those things that make a difference. So there you go, that's why I am prepared to be so open and honest when I write, because I believe that I have a responsibility to do so.

Ramble 2. Well August has come and gone, I'm 50 now and don't feel any different, physically at least. I took a couple of weeks off during the month to accommodate my extended celebrations. I didn't realise when I booked the time off that I had taken the two weeks that the Olympics were on Telly. Wow…I was hooked on everything from sailing to beach volleyball (although I did struggle a bit with ping pong and football.) I was particularly excited on a daily basis during week one by the cycling and swimming. Weren't we magnificent? Surely those amazing young men and women have put the Great back into Great Britain. And wasn't it fantastic that we weren't represented in the football and long may that last. The contrast between what these young people achieved in the Olympics and what our footballers achieve on the world stage was worlds apart. Ok so there is no such thing as truly amateur in today's sporting world but there s a huge contrast in the effort put in by true athletes and that put in by professional footballers at the highest level. Can you imagine what would happen if an cyclist or swimmer was seen in the media week in week out stumbling out of night clubs or abusing their position on the world stage? Physically at least their performance would never live up to its true potential. I won't dwell on it though suffice to say that I for one am happy that once again we have athletes to be proud of.

Before I leave the sporting theme can I just be the first to say "I TOLD YOU SO!" I have said during many of my presentations over the last few years that Lance Armstrong wasn't finished yet. And now we hear that he is coming back for another assault on the 2009 Tour De France. I for one wouldn't back against him making it eight wins.

Final ramble. There has been a lot said in the media recently about scams involving sham lottery wins where the 'winner' has to supply bank details or worse still pay a substantial amount of money up front before their 'winnings' can be released. Of course it's not just lottery scams there are all sorts of people out there who will try anything to get hold of our hard earned money if we let them. My first reaction when I read about people who fall for these scams used to be to express surprise that anyone would fall for something so transparent. Then I looked at it another way, what if some people saw this as their one chance or worse still their last chance? SO I decided to carry out my own experiment to test the validity (?) of one of these scams. I decided to contact my angels and answered a full page article in a Sunday newspaper. I was asked to list five of my greatest wishes that I would like my angels to make happen. Of course I asked to win a million pounds on the lottery (I don't play the lottery) and among other things I asked to be able to wear a Great Britain shirt again (I didn't stipulate a sport). My completed and absolutely no charge incurred request form was sent to my guardian. I watched the post and my life with much excitement over the following days fully expecting my dreams and wishes to be answered (not!)

Eventually I got my first reply. I was to send £10 and I would be sent my 'lucky charm.' I duly obliged with the money and was indeed sent my lucky charm which consisted of a shape drawn on cardboard. I was also sent a list of dates when I could expect amazing things to happen to me. There were so many on the list that sod's law said that on one of them something amazing had to happen.

Then I received my second letter, again a small donation of £10 would bring me even more dates and instructions of what to do next. You can see how this is unfolding can't you? In total I sent six 'small donations' of £10, all in cash by the way and in return I received photocopied instructions and the like, all of which I still have in my possession.

Over the following weeks I received several other letters requesting another £10 for more secrets. For the purposes of this experiment I am in the fortunate position that losing £60 isn't going to do me a great deal of harm financially. Others who are looking for answers might not be so fortunate though. I drew the line at sixty quid deciding that I had now spent enough to prove that this too was just a bunch of C**p designed to separate desperate or vulnerable people from their hard earned money. If anyone would like to see the letters or instructions I received along with the requests for cash I am happy to send you copies. Suffice to say that the age old saying "If it sounds too good to be true then it probably is" stands as true with my angels as it does with anything else.

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Recommended reading, listening or watching

The in movie of the summer I guess has been "Mama Mia". It appears to be this years Marmite Movie - you either hate it or you love it. Like many of my male friends and acquaintances I decided I would go and pay it lip service. It was an absolute hoot. I found it 'laugh out loud' funny. Admittedly some places, such as Pierce Brosnan singing, were funny because they were so very bad. Nevertheless I went with an open mind and even found myself singing along on the back row. I'm all for a bit of no-brain humour with my popcorn which, by the way, I shared...

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What do I know now that I didn't know a month ago?

Ok so I guess I already knew this, but I never actually had first hand experience. If you put half a tank of petrol in your diesel car it gets poorly. However you can drive a surprising distance before it finally hits you that the juddering you can feel is not down to the weather conditions.

Where there is a will there is a bullying sibling...or three.

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Actionstep

What's in a name?
I was asked to speak to a whole year group of year 7 students recently. My subject was "What is Enterprising?" So I asked myself "What IS enterprising." Personally, and this has been supported by most of the people I have asked since, it usually had some sort of business connotation in my mind. Well when I looked it up in the dictionary I was surprised to find that among other things 'enterprising' means courage. So I told them this and then asked them who they knew who was courageous and what qualities would a courageous person display. And then I gave them my answer. Here are the five qualities that I told them I believed courageous people accept...

Choice: There IS ALWAYS another option. With the students we talked about the choices that are available to us in respect of our actions and the people we choose to associate with. The same applies to us all I guess.

Life long learning:
Every day is a school day I explained that when they pass their driving test that doesn't mean that they can drive. They now have to learn how to drive on motorways, in the rain and at night among other challenges. The same applies to school. School only teaches us a selection of designated knowledge, we are then tested on that knowledge (an examination is an elitist record of our designated knowledge.) Passing those exams does not equip us for life, it means we listened and recalled the designated knowledge.

Integrity:
Pooh Bear said "Wherever you go there you are." There is an old saying that states "If you are picking your nose and no one is looking...you are still picking your nose." Likewise if you are a salesperson and you are sitting in a layby reading a paper and no one can see you...you are still sat in a layby reading a newspaper. You can tell others anything you want to. But when it all comes down to it you cannot lie to yourself.

Value friendships:
There is no such thing as self-made. No-one ever 'made it' on their own. We must learn that friendship cannot be bought it is an earned luxury. We must value our true friends and remember that true friendships are built on trust equality and minimal pressure. There is also an element of choice attached to this value. We are not able to choose our families. We can choose our friendships and we should do so with care. Do the people you associate with stand for your magnificence or hold you back at their level of underachievement?

Enthusiasm:
"Once a job is first begun leave it not until it's done. And if that job be large or small do it well or not at all." Roughly translated this means if you are going to do something then do it with enthusiasm, give it your best shot. And remain focussed on that task until either it is done or at least at a place were you can do no more for the time being.

If you haven't already sussed the first letters of these five qualities (which I choose to adopt as life values) spell my name. The question I asked my students was "What does your name mean to you?" I ask the same question of you all...

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Achievements Inventory

During a particularly vitriolic attack on me I called on my support group for some much needed support. I was comforted by the speed of my replies and the level of support I received. Have you tried yours out yet?

After finally deciding to get my finger out It took less than one week to book a studio, director, camera crew and sound guy, write a script and record my new DVD.

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Feedback

Isn't feedback and the way it is received interesting? Here are two contrasting stories. In January of this year I and two of my speaking colleagues watched a lady speaking in Manchester England. Her performance was not good, in fact it was shocking. It was akin to a children's story teller type presentation. We were then asked to feedback based on our experience as professional speakers and we did just that…we told OUR truth. The lady was a little taken aback but probed a little by asking exactly what was not god about her presentation. Later she contacted us individually and asked what advice we would give her on how she could improve her delivery (Her content was world class) and we all duly obliged. As we speak our friend has just returned from a speaking tour of the Gold Coast in Australia and in October is addresses the European Parliament in Strasburg.

At a similar meeting more recently I saw another presentation that was less than professional. In fact my truth said that it was so bad that if was funny, a view shared by several of my colleagues. Again I gave feedback. This time though instead of probing and asking how he could improve the presentation the recipient contacted the organiser of the meeting to complain about my feedback. I was then contacted and asked to hold back or be selective about my feedback in the future…which of course, if I am asked, I will do!

I wonder which of these two people will still be speaking in a few years time?

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This months adventure

This month's adventure had nothing to do with running, swinging through trees or even breaking into a sweat. I have been submersing myself in a little culture. My most recent adventure was again coupled with our (Me Paul John Steve and Dave) quest to step out of our usual comfort zones and go somewhere or do something that we wouldn't normally do. So on 6th September we dug out our dinner jackets, donned our bow ties and cummerbunds and took a trip to the opera. I wasn't actually an opera you understand and the venue was a little removed from Covent Garden. Nevertheless it was a pleasant introduction to the delights of opera and in very acceptable environment (for Steve and I anyway.)

The event was and evening of opera classics performed by "Opera North" and the venue was Headingley rugby stadium in Leeds...home of the Rhinos.

I'm not even going to attempt to bluff my way through this article by explaining each song and its context in its particular opera. What I will say is that the four 'singers' each had their own title which appeared to be associated with how deep or how high they could get their voices to go. One (surprisingly slim) guy took his voice lower than a snakes belly full of marbles whilst another (surprisingly slim) lady almost broke my glasses. The pianist was a trooper. As the concert was on an open air stage the performers were open to the elements, and it was slinging it down with rain. Whilst the 'singers' were fairly well covered our very own 'piano man' was at the edge of the stage and open to the wind and rain that was constant throughout the entire 65 minute performance.

Some of the pieces were easily recognisable such as 'Figaro' or that one that is on the after shave advert. And of course the old war horse 'Nesun Dorma' closed the show to raptures of applause from the almost 1000 strong audience. Our evening ended with a lovely meal shared with great company.

The Headingley Opera experience is an annual event now in it's 5th year. I can recommend it highly if like us you want to introduce yourself to some culture or indeed if you are already a fan and would enjoy an 'Opera's Greatest Hits' evening.

On the way out Steve said that he had read somewhere that having a true understanding of classical music was evident if you could listen to it without associating it with a product. I guess I have a way to go yet then.

As for my next adventure, well as you read this I will have just returned from white water rafting some of the biggest rapids in the world on the Zambezi. Watch this space.

HARDLY 3 TENORS...MORE LIKE FOUR QUID!

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If...

Questions to stimulate conversation either in the office or over dinner.

Q1. IF "If's and but's" were indeed apples and nuts how much muesli would you own?

Q2. IF you were a super hero what amazing and unique skill or power would you have and how would you use it?

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