My truth

Well it has arrived, the European commission has allowed a 'slimming pill' to be sold in the UK. Apparently, if taken regularly, this pill will help you to lose up to eighteen pounds in weight in a year. I bet it won't if you shovel a block of lard down your throat every week or if you sit on your backside every day for up to twelve hours watching one screen or another. At the same time my guess is that you could lose up to eighteen pounds in weight in a year if you walked for a couple of miles once or twice a week and cut your calorific intake down by a few percent. My truth is that most people wouldn't want to do the second option because, lets be honest here, most people who would take a weight loss pill are bone idle when it comes to exercise and gluttons when it comes to eating.

Someone who is taking a weight loss pill is looking for a quick fix, an overnight solution to a internal challenge. Someone who gets sucked in to easy money, 'maximum payback for minimum layout' schemes is probably looking for a quick fix, an overnight solution to their internal financial challenges. And in my experience when the struggle is internal the solution is probably in the same place. When some people get desperate and have their backs up against a wall they will look anywhere they can for an easy 'overnight' solution. And wherever these vulnerable people are there are others willing to cash in on that vulnerability in order to exploit them. I am ashamed to say that my industry, the business of self-help, is not immune to these people. People who are prepared to deliver what I refer to as 'sticking plaster' personal development giving short lived success to people who really require long-term change.

It has often been said "If you want something that you have never had you must do something that you have never done." Simply saying something like "well I have read a book on slimming...and I have never done that before" is not exactly what this statement means. My truth is that it means if you have taken certain actions to get you into a situation then taking exactly the same action is not going to get you out of it. Slimming pills get rich quick schemes and the like are not going to work unless you work too. And no personal development book, programme or 'trick' is going to work either unless you do too.

My job as an inspirational humorist is not to change your life, I can't do that and I would NEVER claim to be able to. My job as I see it is to challenge your thinking. And even if you don't agree with me in the end at least you have had to think about something differently to come to that conclusion. I cannot motivate you to do anything, true and lasting motivation absolutely must come from within the individual. What I can do though is help you to feel so damned uncomfortable with where you are that you actually want to get up and change your habit or your beliefs and change your life yourself. And I will even throw in a few clues as to how you might want to do it based on how I did the same for myself. But it still comes down to YOU in the end.

To read more about what I think constitutes 'sticking plaster' personal development, my article "The illusion of confidence" will shortly be available to read on my blog.

^ menu

Book, film or quote of the month

I wonder what faith really is if you are not a religious person. To me faith is trusting in something or someone without knowing fully their capacity to support you, even if that someone is YOU. Perhaps it is just something as simple as taking a leap into the future without knowing exactly what your outcome will be. I would like to share with you few quotes that I have uncovered about faith this month. Make of them what you will...

"To trust in the force that moves the universe is faith.
Faith isn't blind, it's visionary.
Faith is believing that the universe is on our side
and that the universe knows what it is doing."

Author unknown

"Faith is daring, courageous.
It has the audacity to reach a hand into the darkness
and come out with a fistful of light."

Nun Sister Stan

"Just take the first step in faith.
You don't have to see the whole staircase.
Just take the first step."

Martin Luther King

^ menu

What do I know now that I didn't know a month ago?

You can lose total respect from someone in the space of one short phone call

In a battle between a fox and the bumper of a Saab the fox will probably win

If the fox does win the bill will be in excess of £650

^ menu

Challenging your thinking

Have you ever been asked to do something or give something that you can do or give but are not really sure you want to? And have you ever had the situation where your heart says "No, not this time." and then your great big flapping mouth just blurts out "Yes, of course I can!" On the journey home, after making your promise, have you ever justified your generosity to yourself by saying something like "Well it's still nearly a year away." or even "Well, it's only a few quid. I will just have to stay in that week."? I have and I have lost count of the number of times I have said "never again" and then gone out and done exactly the same thing again! You see I have this "Ready...Fire...Aim" mentality that means that I have a tendency to say "yes" without thinking.

Acts like this are referred to as 'Elephants in the distance' - let me explain. If you are walking towards an elephant from a distance it looks very small and manageable. However, as you start to get closer it starts to get bigger...and bigger...and the thought of tackling it becomes more imposing. Then, when you get right up to your elephant it is HUGE and can be overwhelming, blocking out everything else around you. There might even be a tendency to regret having started walking towards it in the first place.

I have lost count of the number of times I have allowed this to happen to me - and I am certain it will happen again. However, I am working on protecting myself from it happening too often by 'buying myself time' before I say yes or no. Now if someone asks me to give or do something in the future I THINK before I answer, and then I will ask for some time before deciding how to answer. "Let me check my diary and I will get back to you." or "Can you drop me an email and I'll let you know when I get back to the office?" are typical answers I will give now. This also prevents me from double booking events.

If you're anything like me you want to help others as much as you can and if you say 'yes' before realising that it isn't really possible, the guilt can be awful. So, accept that we can only do so much for so many and be honest with yourself and others by saying 'yes' when you really mean yes and 'no' when you really mean no. Here is my challenge to you - say "No" politely when you next feel that is what you truly want to say and then walk away safe in the knowledge that you have been honest to yourself and avoided just one more 'Elephant in the distance'.

^ menu

Achievements Inventory

I uploaded a video onto my face book page.

I backed down and let go, not easy but it had to be done.

^ menu

Feedback

I am really enjoying where I am right now and that is (as always) reflected in my presentations. As if to underline that here is an example of the feedback I have received so far this year...

"Just a brief note to say thank you for your tremendous input at last night's NTN awards ceremony held at Nottingham EMCC. We all thought you were brilliant! I loved the parts of your presentation where you talked about self-esteem and school reports. Really funny but thought provoking too."

NTN Nottingham

"The feedback we have received has been nothing short of sensational, and I would be very happy to recommend Clive for any other similar events."

Great places housing group

"I have spoken to almost everyone who attended and they, like me said they could have listened to you for hours.

Grimsby Samaritans

I am happy to supply details of these contributors if you require.

On another note Elaine (www.hanzak.com) and I delivered our "How to take life by the throat and say I'm not done yet!" day on Sunday 11th January. If you are considering joining us on our next one, here are just a few of comments from those who attended...

"You and Elaine are a great combination as presenters, hers being the more "softly softly" approach and yours the more "In Your Face" (A bit like 'Good cop - Bad cop'!) and it works really well!

"I found your stories and the stories from the people in the room that courageously shared, very inspirational and the whole day was definitely emotionally moving."

"I'd like to thank you for the brilliant workshop on Sunday. I think the different styles of you both works together really well. I got a lot out of it personally and it also made me realise how far I've come over the years and how ready I am to share my experiences at a different level. Both of you make it look so easy and natural."

"Your workshop really did have quite an effect on me! I guess it woke me up to taking a good hard look at exactly who I am being and what I deserve, then working on that."

^ menu

My Latest adventure

Well my latest adventure was shared with Steve, Paul, John and Dave again when we took ourselves off for a touch of culture at the ballet. We went to The Nutcracker at the Opera House in Leeds. Having already been to church and the opera this was just another cultural adventure, one though that I would be happy to repeat. As someone who understands the rigours of training for endurance athletics events I was able to respect the amount of time these guys must have put in to be able to perform as energetically and for the length of time that they did. In fact it is fair to say that I was most impressed by their physical ability.

The title The Nutcracker does not refer to the strength of the dancers thighs though, it refers to our hero in the story. So, and please pardon the pun, here is the story in a nutshell.

It's Christmas Eve in the Edwards household. Things start to warm up and the kids can't wait to get the party started. Uncle Drosselmeyer arrives and as usual he has wonderful tales to tell of his travels and amazing gifts to share. He gives the two youngest children a soldier doll which Frederick, the petulant younger brother of Clara claims as his own because he wants to be a soldier. He loses interest in it when he breaks the head off the toy, something that Clara is a bit narked about. Anyway being an all round good egg Drosselmeyer mends the toy for Clara and also reveals that it can in fact crack nuts. After a while everyone goes to bed except uncle Dross who has hidden behind the curtain. When all is quiet he comes out and casts his magic on the doll turning it into a full sized human (apparently) soldier. And a jolly handsome young man he is too.

At some point a great big mouse comes out with his mates and starts a fight with the soldier and his squaddie mates, who appear to be losing the fight. But then Clara, who was obviously disturbed by all of the noise of the battle downstairs, enters the room. When the king of the mice (The Mouse King) sees her he takes a second look, which is just enough time for our soldier hero to run him through with his sword. Some would say that he was not too gentlemanly to do that but hey, you take your chance when you can ey?

Following the fight somehow (and don't ask me how) our new hero (the soldier) and Clara find themselves in 'Snowy Fairyland' full of dancing maidens and .....snow. Anyway uncle Dross appears again and this time he has a magic sleigh for our lovely couple and off they go into the interval.

When we come back our couple are on a trip around the world to beautiful and enchanting places, including the moon I might add. They meet Cossacks in Russia, Princesses in Arabia, a fairy called Sugar Plum (yeah I know.) Then our soldier hero returns Clara to the house and somehow she wakes up in her dad's arms. She then starts to tell everyone about her adventures and off course they all patronise her with "yes of course you have just been on a sleigh ride to the moon and back, and taken in China along the way, now go to sleep." Poor Clara is now in a quandary, was her experience real or was it all just a dream, I guess she will never know...but we do don't we? Personally I can't wait for "Nutcracker 2, the return of Mouse king." Swan Lake next I think...

^ menu

A question for discussion.

I saw something interesting on breakfast TV recently, the UK's first Charisma course. As usual I looked up charisma in the dictionary and found it to mean "Capacity to inspire followers or disciples. Divine gift or talent."

My question is this. Can you teach someone to have Charisma, to have a divine talent or teach someone to inspire followers? My truth is no - you either have it or you don't. It's the same with humour; I believe that you can teach someone to tell a joke but teaching them to be 'naturally funny' is like pushing water uphill - it's always going to come back to the start.

HOWEVER, teaching someone to be confident is another matter entirely. Confidence (assured expectations, self-reliance, boldness) can be learned and perfected by anyone.

^ menu

My truth

Well it has arrived, the European commission has allowed a 'slimming pill' to be sold in the UK. Apparently, if taken regularly, this pill will help you to lose up to eighteen pounds in weight in a year. I bet it won't if you shovel a block of lard down your throat every week or if you sit on your backside every day for up to twelve hours watching one screen or another. At the same time my guess is that you could lose up to eighteen pounds in weight in a year if you walked for a couple of miles once or twice a week and cut your calorific intake down by a few percent. My truth is that most people wouldn't want to do the second option because, lets be honest here, most people who would take a weight loss pill are bone idle when it comes to exercise and gluttons when it comes to eating.

Someone who is taking a weight loss pill is looking for a quick fix, an overnight solution to a internal challenge. Someone who gets sucked in to easy money, 'maximum payback for minimum layout' schemes is probably looking for a quick fix, an overnight solution to their internal financial challenges. And in my experience when the struggle is internal the solution is probably in the same place. When some people get desperate and have their backs up against a wall they will look anywhere they can for an easy 'overnight' solution. And wherever these vulnerable people are there are others willing to cash in on that vulnerability in order to exploit them. I am ashamed to say that my industry, the business of self-help, is not immune to these people. People who are prepared to deliver what I refer to as 'sticking plaster' personal development giving short lived success to people who really require long-term change.

It has often been said "If you want something that you have never had you must do something that you have never done." Simply saying something like "well I have read a book on slimming...and I have never done that before" is not exactly what this statement means. My truth is that it means if you have taken certain actions to get you into a situation then taking exactly the same action is not going to get you out of it. Slimming pills get rich quick schemes and the like are not going to work unless you work too. And no personal development book, programme or 'trick' is going to work either unless you do too.

My job as an inspirational humorist is not to change your life, I can't do that and I would NEVER claim to be able to. My job as I see it is to challenge your thinking. And even if you don't agree with me in the end at least you have had to think about something differently to come to that conclusion. I cannot motivate you to do anything, true and lasting motivation absolutely must come from within the individual. What I can do though is help you to feel so damned uncomfortable with where you are that you actually want to get up and change your habit or your beliefs and change your life yourself. And I will even throw in a few clues as to how you might want to do it based on how I did the same for myself. But it still comes down to YOU in the end.

To read more about what I think constitutes 'sticking plaster' personal development, my article "The illusion of confidence" will shortly be available to read on my blog.

^ menu

Book, film or quote of the month

I wonder what faith really is if you are not a religious person. To me faith is trusting in something or someone without knowing fully their capacity to support you, even if that someone is YOU. Perhaps it is just something as simple as taking a leap into the future without knowing exactly what your outcome will be. I would like to share with you few quotes that I have uncovered about faith this month. Make of them what you will...

"To trust in the force that moves the universe is faith.
Faith isn't blind, it's visionary.
Faith is believing that the universe is on our side
and that the universe knows what it is doing."

Author unknown

"Faith is daring, courageous.
It has the audacity to reach a hand into the darkness
and come out with a fistful of light."

Nun Sister Stan

"Just take the first step in faith.
You don't have to see the whole staircase.
Just take the first step."

Martin Luther King

^ menu

What do I know now that I didn't know a month ago?

You can lose total respect from someone in the space of one short phone call

In a battle between a fox and the bumper of a Saab the fox will probably win

If the fox does win the bill will be in excess of £650

^ menu

Challenging your thinking

Have you ever been asked to do something or give something that you can do or give but are not really sure you want to? And have you ever had the situation where your heart says "No, not this time." and then your great big flapping mouth just blurts out "Yes, of course I can!" On the journey home, after making your promise, have you ever justified your generosity to yourself by saying something like "Well it's still nearly a year away." or even "Well, it's only a few quid. I will just have to stay in that week."? I have and I have lost count of the number of times I have said "never again" and then gone out and done exactly the same thing again! You see I have this "Ready...Fire...Aim" mentality that means that I have a tendency to say "yes" without thinking.

Acts like this are referred to as 'Elephants in the distance' - let me explain. If you are walking towards an elephant from a distance it looks very small and manageable. However, as you start to get closer it starts to get bigger...and bigger...and the thought of tackling it becomes more imposing. Then, when you get right up to your elephant it is HUGE and can be overwhelming, blocking out everything else around you. There might even be a tendency to regret having started walking towards it in the first place.

I have lost count of the number of times I have allowed this to happen to me - and I am certain it will happen again. However, I am working on protecting myself from it happening too often by 'buying myself time' before I say yes or no. Now if someone asks me to give or do something in the future I THINK before I answer, and then I will ask for some time before deciding how to answer. "Let me check my diary and I will get back to you." or "Can you drop me an email and I'll let you know when I get back to the office?" are typical answers I will give now. This also prevents me from double booking events.

If you're anything like me you want to help others as much as you can and if you say 'yes' before realising that it isn't really possible, the guilt can be awful. So, accept that we can only do so much for so many and be honest with yourself and others by saying 'yes' when you really mean yes and 'no' when you really mean no. Here is my challenge to you - say "No" politely when you next feel that is what you truly want to say and then walk away safe in the knowledge that you have been honest to yourself and avoided just one more 'Elephant in the distance'.

^ menu

Achievements Inventory

I uploaded a video onto my face book page.

I backed down and let go, not easy but it had to be done.

^ menu

Feedback

I am really enjoying where I am right now and that is (as always) reflected in my presentations. As if to underline that here is an example of the feedback I have received so far this year...

"Just a brief note to say thank you for your tremendous input at last night's NTN awards ceremony held at Nottingham EMCC. We all thought you were brilliant! I loved the parts of your presentation where you talked about self-esteem and school reports. Really funny but thought provoking too."

NTN Nottingham

"The feedback we have received has been nothing short of sensational, and I would be very happy to recommend Clive for any other similar events."

Great places housing group

"I have spoken to almost everyone who attended and they, like me said they could have listened to you for hours.

Grimsby Samaritans

I am happy to supply details of these contributors if you require.

On another note Elaine (www.hanzak.com) and I delivered our "How to take life by the throat and say I'm not done yet!" day on Sunday 11th January. If you are considering joining us on our next one, here are just a few of comments from those who attended...

"You and Elaine are a great combination as presenters, hers being the more "softly softly" approach and yours the more "In Your Face" (A bit like 'Good cop - Bad cop'!) and it works really well!

"I found your stories and the stories from the people in the room that courageously shared, very inspirational and the whole day was definitely emotionally moving."

"I'd like to thank you for the brilliant workshop on Sunday. I think the different styles of you both works together really well. I got a lot out of it personally and it also made me realise how far I've come over the years and how ready I am to share my experiences at a different level. Both of you make it look so easy and natural."

"Your workshop really did have quite an effect on me! I guess it woke me up to taking a good hard look at exactly who I am being and what I deserve, then working on that."

^ menu

My Latest adventure

Well my latest adventure was shared with Steve, Paul, John and Dave again when we took ourselves off for a touch of culture at the ballet. We went to The Nutcracker at the Opera House in Leeds. Having already been to church and the opera this was just another cultural adventure, one though that I would be happy to repeat. As someone who understands the rigours of training for endurance athletics events I was able to respect the amount of time these guys must have put in to be able to perform as energetically and for the length of time that they did. In fact it is fair to say that I was most impressed by their physical ability.

The title The Nutcracker does not refer to the strength of the dancers thighs though, it refers to our hero in the story. So, and please pardon the pun, here is the story in a nutshell.

It's Christmas Eve in the Edwards household. Things start to warm up and the kids can't wait to get the party started. Uncle Drosselmeyer arrives and as usual he has wonderful tales to tell of his travels and amazing gifts to share. He gives the two youngest children a soldier doll which Frederick, the petulant younger brother of Clara claims as his own because he wants to be a soldier. He loses interest in it when he breaks the head off the toy, something that Clara is a bit narked about. Anyway being an all round good egg Drosselmeyer mends the toy for Clara and also reveals that it can in fact crack nuts. After a while everyone goes to bed except uncle Dross who has hidden behind the curtain. When all is quiet he comes out and casts his magic on the doll turning it into a full sized human (apparently) soldier. And a jolly handsome young man he is too.

At some point a great big mouse comes out with his mates and starts a fight with the soldier and his squaddie mates, who appear to be losing the fight. But then Clara, who was obviously disturbed by all of the noise of the battle downstairs, enters the room. When the king of the mice (The Mouse King) sees her he takes a second look, which is just enough time for our soldier hero to run him through with his sword. Some would say that he was not too gentlemanly to do that but hey, you take your chance when you can ey?

Following the fight somehow (and don't ask me how) our new hero (the soldier) and Clara find themselves in 'Snowy Fairyland' full of dancing maidens and .....snow. Anyway uncle Dross appears again and this time he has a magic sleigh for our lovely couple and off they go into the interval.

When we come back our couple are on a trip around the world to beautiful and enchanting places, including the moon I might add. They meet Cossacks in Russia, Princesses in Arabia, a fairy called Sugar Plum (yeah I know.) Then our soldier hero returns Clara to the house and somehow she wakes up in her dad's arms. She then starts to tell everyone about her adventures and off course they all patronise her with "yes of course you have just been on a sleigh ride to the moon and back, and taken in China along the way, now go to sleep." Poor Clara is now in a quandary, was her experience real or was it all just a dream, I guess she will never know...but we do don't we? Personally I can't wait for "Nutcracker 2, the return of Mouse king." Swan Lake next I think...

^ menu

A question for discussion.

I saw something interesting on breakfast TV recently, the UK's first Charisma course. As usual I looked up charisma in the dictionary and found it to mean "Capacity to inspire followers or disciples. Divine gift or talent."

My question is this. Can you teach someone to have Charisma, to have a divine talent or teach someone to inspire followers? My truth is no - you either have it or you don't. It's the same with humour; I believe that you can teach someone to tell a joke but teaching them to be 'naturally funny' is like pushing water uphill - it's always going to come back to the start.

HOWEVER, teaching someone to be confident is another matter entirely. Confidence (assured expectations, self-reliance, boldness) can be learned and perfected by anyone.

^ menu