Personal Reflection

Recently I was watching breakfast telly, not something I do every day, just now and then. On this particular morning though there were three stories that grabbed my attention simply because they were all about someone blaming someone else for their present situation in life or for their inability to control their own attitude.

The first was a woman who has become addicted to the new 'fixed odds betting' machines (FOB's). FOB's are one armed bandit type machines that are only available in high street bookmakers. The woman in question took our reporter around four or five of her local bookmakers shops where she has managed to run up substantial personal debt because she plays FOB's every day. She is now leading a campaign to have FOB's banned from all betting shops, even though it would be a lot easier to have herself banned from all betting shops - most chains of bookmakers operate a self-banning policy where they will refuse to serve you if you request them to do so and you can even specify the length of the ban yourself. So because she can't control her actions everyone else who might enjoy using these machines should suffer?

The second was the ongoing discussion in the media about the cost of cheap alcohol in supermarket and the like. Cheap booze is apparently causing more violence and creating more alcoholics in our society. It is also responsible for the blight of underage drinking that seems to be taking over a lot of communities. So those of us who can (for the most part) control our intake of alcohol and who enjoy a drink at home may have to lose the opportunity to buy cheaper alcohol in order to lessen its effect on society. Cheap alcohol was also blamed for a recent incident at a premiership football game that descended into a mass brawl involving the two opposing sets of 'fans'. This was referred to as 'soccer violence'.

We stay with soccer for the third example. A professional player scored a goal against the team he used to play for. He then committed the heinous crime of celebrating in front of a group of fans who had been abusing him verbally for the entire match. The player was punished for 'upsetting' the opposition fans. The same fans who had been abusing him for more than an hour were now crying into their Kleenex because this player had the audacity to bully them by celebrating in front of them. As with most bullies those in the crowd could give it out but couldn't take it back. We even saw examples of two sets of bullies who previously held each other in contempt coming together in an unlikely alliance because they both felt threatened.

The common denominator in all of these stories is the abdication of personal responsibility by the 'victims'. In all of these cases, as with a lot of 'victim' situations, the victims were really volunteers. No one held a gun to the head of the woman who insists on putting all of her money (and then some) into a slot machine. No one forces people to buy cheap alcohol and then consume so much of it that they lose control of their actions. And as far as the football celebrations are concerned...puhleeese! Grow up and stop being so damn childish. The guy scored a goal and had put up with hours of abuse from the supporters who were now offended and had hurt feelings because he chose to stick his tongue out at them.

If I had a pound for every time I have handed money over to a bookmaker in return for a piece of paper only to throw that piece of paper in the bin later, or for every time I have woken up wishing I hadn't had that last lager or even for every time I have been referred to as a 'Whine-o' supporter instead of a (Leeds) Rhino supported I would be a wealthy man. My truth is that I choose to gamble occasionally, I choose to overindulge on falling down water occasionally, too. Heck, I can even be guilty from time to time of saying something less than complimentary to a referee or a Bradford Bulls fan. All of these things I do because I choose to do them and as such I also choose to accept the consequences of my actions. There is no way I would ever ask for the rest of society to be punished because of my lack or responsibility. Cause and effect is a major value that I live by. The law of cause and effect states that...

"Whatever happens to me in my life (the effect) will in some way be as a result of my actions (the cause)"

I'm thinking that raising the cost of alcohol is not going to stop people drinking any more than raising the price of petrol is going to stop people speeding. People who drink will drink regardless of the cost. Banning FOB's is not going to stop this woman gambling, gamblers will gamble on two fleas running up a dogs back if there is nothing else to gamble on. And insisting that a football player who scores a goal against his old team has to actually go to the crowd immediately and apologise for doing so is not going to stop football violence. Thugs are thugs and if they were to ban football then 'soccer violence' would become cricket or rugby violence.

Do we really need the government of the day to molly coddle us by telling us what we should and shouldn't do on a daily basis? I certainly don't.

And while I am ranting away I might as well say that I find some (most) of Nick Griffin's beliefs dangerous and sickening. HOWEVER, this week I listened as one of the leaders of the Church of England explained that they were considering joining with the Catholic church because they (C of E) find the thought of homosexual churchmen (in fact homosexuality in general) an unacceptable side of life today and the ordaining of women bishops unacceptable in the Church. Would someone please explain the difference between these statements and those of the BNP. Perhaps, instead of focusing Nick Griffin, some of the media should start 'Bashing the Bishop' a bit more!

^ menu

Something for nothing

Because of the success of the first complimentary speaker development day "It's not all foot lights and fat fees" the second day on 21st November was well oversubscribed so I have gone ahead and booked a bigger room. If you would like more details let me know, it would be great to see you there.

^ menu

What do I know now that I didn't know a month ago?

You know when your mum used to tell you, perhaps at Easter or Christmas, that if you eat too much chocolate it will make you ill...and you didn't believe her? Well take it from me - it's true! Too much chocolate can make you VERY ill indeed!

A wolf can growl and howl but it can't bark.

A surgery wound can be closed and healed within 4 days without leaving stitch marks...what's that all about then?

^ menu

Challenging your thinking

Do most things have a shelf life?

A couple of things have happened in my life recently that have made me wonder whether almost everything has a shelf life; a sell by date. Firstly, out of the blue, Maggie and Dave the landlords of my local for the past 27 years decided that after their 25 year stint in the place they have had enough. They have given all that they had to give to the place and now it was time to move on. It sounds like a normal conversation doesn't it, something that people are doing every day. But this is Maggie and Dave we are talking about. They have been there for 25 years of Friday nights, 25 New Year's eves, 25 cup finals and loads of other stuff as well. What the heck are we going to do now? But do you know what? After a short time of reflection, I could see that it was time for a change anyway. It might be the case that I have been doing more or less the same thing for more than half of my life and if they hadn't decided to change I would probably have continued to do the same thing for the rest of it.

The second thing was personal to me. I have reached a point where, unless something amazing comes up, my body has given me just about everything that it has to give me in regards of physical achievements. This too sounds like a normal conversation doesn't it, something people are doing every day. But this is my body we are talking about. It has been there for my physical adventures since my first one in 1986. We have run marathons and completed Ironman triathlons together. We have climbed mountains and run across a desert together. Parts of us (mainly our knees) have spent almost as much time with a surgeon than we have with Maggie and Dave. What the heck are we going to do now? But do you know what? After a time of reflection I could see that it was time for a change anyway.

It was when a few of us were lamenting past times in the pub over a few beers (!) that I realised that, during my 27 years as a regular, many people had passed through. Some of them were good friends who moved on; some were acquaintances of one sort or another and some were and still are great friends. The number of things, people or situations that I had let go of and moved on from over that time was a surprise to me. So I took myself off and did some reflecting on my own with regards to my 23 years of physical adventures. Again I recall the many amazing things I have seen and some of the wonderful people I have met as well as some of the less pleasant occasions I have endured all of which I have let go of and moved on from, usually to better things. As I sit here now I still have half of my life left and loads of other opportunities open to me. I will survive and probably thrive and my handicap will come down just as soon as I get this back sorted out.

So it struck me that yes, most things (including some relationships) have a shelf life and that although letting go of them and moving on from them might seem very difficult at the time it's going to be ok, something else will soon fill the void that you have (or someone else has) just created in your life because that's what life does for us, it fills the gaps left by things gone by. So if you are hanging onto something or if you have been contemplating a change but fear of that very change has prevented you from making it, why not let it go and see what happens? And, hey...if all else fails, I know a boozer that could use a great couple to run it.

^ menu

Achievements Inventory

I have accepted that I am probably not going up anymore...

I backed myself and PAID £8k to speak at an event for an hour trusting in my ability to impress a very influential audience

^ menu

Feedback

From my first complimentary speaker development day in Leeds...

"... I went to Clive's October session - excellent. I came out of it miles further on in my progress as a professional speaker. If you're on the fence about this one, jump off it - you should go."
Ian

"Here is your fantastic feedback. Out of 22 non-members, 18 gave you excellent & 4 very good. Out of 5 members, 4 rated you excellent and 1 very good!"

I guess I must be doing something right then, eh?

^ menu

Paying it Forward

I accept that I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't had a leg up from time to time from those who have believed in me and supported me. This section of my newsletter gives me a chance to pay some of the kindness shown to me forward for others...

There are two events that I would like to bring to your attention this time.

Raising the Bar

Raising the Bar is a day packed full of key note speeches and workshops aimed at helping you to take your business or yourself that bit higher. This all0day event starts with networking at 07.30 on Thursday 19th November at Oxfords Kassam Stadium. Tickets for the event are £199 with delegate numbers limited to 750 with seats selling quickly. I have several tickets reserved for readers of this newsletter at a discounted rate. To get hold of these contact Raising the Bar at www.rtbevents.co.uk and mention Clive Gott when you book. [More details]

Coaching for High Performance

Coaching for High Performance is a coaching development programme designed for those of us who are looking for ways to develop ourselves and others. It is designed and run by my great friend Jan Brause...

Jan Brause BSc(Hons) Psych, FCIPD, MCMI, AC Accredited Coach
Jan is a performance development coach & coach supervisor driven by a personal belief that people are unique with particular strengths to offer the world of work. Her aim is to unlock these strengths to the mutual gain of the individual and the organization. She has many years successful experience in Personal Development and Corporate Management operating at senior level across both the private and public sector.

Jan isn't someone who came out of the woodwork and saw coaching as an easy route to make a living. If you chopped her head off she would have "PASSIONATE ABOUT COACHING" written right through her body - that's why this is the ONLY coaching programme you will hear me recommend. Check out the PDF document, Coaching for High Performance, to learn more.

^ menu

A question for discussion.

If you could swap places with someone for a day, who would you choose and why?

^ menu

Personal Reflection

Recently I was watching breakfast telly, not something I do every day, just now and then. On this particular morning though there were three stories that grabbed my attention simply because they were all about someone blaming someone else for their present situation in life or for their inability to control their own attitude.

The first was a woman who has become addicted to the new 'fixed odds betting' machines (FOB's). FOB's are one armed bandit type machines that are only available in high street bookmakers. The woman in question took our reporter around four or five of her local bookmakers shops where she has managed to run up substantial personal debt because she plays FOB's every day. She is now leading a campaign to have FOB's banned from all betting shops, even though it would be a lot easier to have herself banned from all betting shops - most chains of bookmakers operate a self-banning policy where they will refuse to serve you if you request them to do so and you can even specify the length of the ban yourself. So because she can't control her actions everyone else who might enjoy using these machines should suffer?

The second was the ongoing discussion in the media about the cost of cheap alcohol in supermarket and the like. Cheap booze is apparently causing more violence and creating more alcoholics in our society. It is also responsible for the blight of underage drinking that seems to be taking over a lot of communities. So those of us who can (for the most part) control our intake of alcohol and who enjoy a drink at home may have to lose the opportunity to buy cheaper alcohol in order to lessen its effect on society. Cheap alcohol was also blamed for a recent incident at a premiership football game that descended into a mass brawl involving the two opposing sets of 'fans'. This was referred to as 'soccer violence'.

We stay with soccer for the third example. A professional player scored a goal against the team he used to play for. He then committed the heinous crime of celebrating in front of a group of fans who had been abusing him verbally for the entire match. The player was punished for 'upsetting' the opposition fans. The same fans who had been abusing him for more than an hour were now crying into their Kleenex because this player had the audacity to bully them by celebrating in front of them. As with most bullies those in the crowd could give it out but couldn't take it back. We even saw examples of two sets of bullies who previously held each other in contempt coming together in an unlikely alliance because they both felt threatened.

The common denominator in all of these stories is the abdication of personal responsibility by the 'victims'. In all of these cases, as with a lot of 'victim' situations, the victims were really volunteers. No one held a gun to the head of the woman who insists on putting all of her money (and then some) into a slot machine. No one forces people to buy cheap alcohol and then consume so much of it that they lose control of their actions. And as far as the football celebrations are concerned...puhleeese! Grow up and stop being so damn childish. The guy scored a goal and had put up with hours of abuse from the supporters who were now offended and had hurt feelings because he chose to stick his tongue out at them.

If I had a pound for every time I have handed money over to a bookmaker in return for a piece of paper only to throw that piece of paper in the bin later, or for every time I have woken up wishing I hadn't had that last lager or even for every time I have been referred to as a 'Whine-o' supporter instead of a (Leeds) Rhino supported I would be a wealthy man. My truth is that I choose to gamble occasionally, I choose to overindulge on falling down water occasionally, too. Heck, I can even be guilty from time to time of saying something less than complimentary to a referee or a Bradford Bulls fan. All of these things I do because I choose to do them and as such I also choose to accept the consequences of my actions. There is no way I would ever ask for the rest of society to be punished because of my lack or responsibility. Cause and effect is a major value that I live by. The law of cause and effect states that...

"Whatever happens to me in my life (the effect) will in some way be as a result of my actions (the cause)"

I'm thinking that raising the cost of alcohol is not going to stop people drinking any more than raising the price of petrol is going to stop people speeding. People who drink will drink regardless of the cost. Banning FOB's is not going to stop this woman gambling, gamblers will gamble on two fleas running up a dogs back if there is nothing else to gamble on. And insisting that a football player who scores a goal against his old team has to actually go to the crowd immediately and apologise for doing so is not going to stop football violence. Thugs are thugs and if they were to ban football then 'soccer violence' would become cricket or rugby violence.

Do we really need the government of the day to molly coddle us by telling us what we should and shouldn't do on a daily basis? I certainly don't.

And while I am ranting away I might as well say that I find some (most) of Nick Griffin's beliefs dangerous and sickening. HOWEVER, this week I listened as one of the leaders of the Church of England explained that they were considering joining with the Catholic church because they (C of E) find the thought of homosexual churchmen (in fact homosexuality in general) an unacceptable side of life today and the ordaining of women bishops unacceptable in the Church. Would someone please explain the difference between these statements and those of the BNP. Perhaps, instead of focusing Nick Griffin, some of the media should start 'Bashing the Bishop' a bit more!

^ menu

Something for nothing

Because of the success of the first complimentary speaker development day "It's not all foot lights and fat fees" the second day on 21st November was well oversubscribed so I have gone ahead and booked a bigger room. If you would like more details let me know, it would be great to see you there.

^ menu

What do I know now that I didn't know a month ago?

You know when your mum used to tell you, perhaps at Easter or Christmas, that if you eat too much chocolate it will make you ill...and you didn't believe her? Well take it from me - it's true! Too much chocolate can make you VERY ill indeed!

A wolf can growl and howl but it can't bark.

A surgery wound can be closed and healed within 4 days without leaving stitch marks...what's that all about then?

^ menu

Challenging your thinking

Do most things have a shelf life?

A couple of things have happened in my life recently that have made me wonder whether almost everything has a shelf life; a sell by date. Firstly, out of the blue, Maggie and Dave the landlords of my local for the past 27 years decided that after their 25 year stint in the place they have had enough. They have given all that they had to give to the place and now it was time to move on. It sounds like a normal conversation doesn't it, something that people are doing every day. But this is Maggie and Dave we are talking about. They have been there for 25 years of Friday nights, 25 New Year's eves, 25 cup finals and loads of other stuff as well. What the heck are we going to do now? But do you know what? After a short time of reflection, I could see that it was time for a change anyway. It might be the case that I have been doing more or less the same thing for more than half of my life and if they hadn't decided to change I would probably have continued to do the same thing for the rest of it.

The second thing was personal to me. I have reached a point where, unless something amazing comes up, my body has given me just about everything that it has to give me in regards of physical achievements. This too sounds like a normal conversation doesn't it, something people are doing every day. But this is my body we are talking about. It has been there for my physical adventures since my first one in 1986. We have run marathons and completed Ironman triathlons together. We have climbed mountains and run across a desert together. Parts of us (mainly our knees) have spent almost as much time with a surgeon than we have with Maggie and Dave. What the heck are we going to do now? But do you know what? After a time of reflection I could see that it was time for a change anyway.

It was when a few of us were lamenting past times in the pub over a few beers (!) that I realised that, during my 27 years as a regular, many people had passed through. Some of them were good friends who moved on; some were acquaintances of one sort or another and some were and still are great friends. The number of things, people or situations that I had let go of and moved on from over that time was a surprise to me. So I took myself off and did some reflecting on my own with regards to my 23 years of physical adventures. Again I recall the many amazing things I have seen and some of the wonderful people I have met as well as some of the less pleasant occasions I have endured all of which I have let go of and moved on from, usually to better things. As I sit here now I still have half of my life left and loads of other opportunities open to me. I will survive and probably thrive and my handicap will come down just as soon as I get this back sorted out.

So it struck me that yes, most things (including some relationships) have a shelf life and that although letting go of them and moving on from them might seem very difficult at the time it's going to be ok, something else will soon fill the void that you have (or someone else has) just created in your life because that's what life does for us, it fills the gaps left by things gone by. So if you are hanging onto something or if you have been contemplating a change but fear of that very change has prevented you from making it, why not let it go and see what happens? And, hey...if all else fails, I know a boozer that could use a great couple to run it.

^ menu

Achievements Inventory

I have accepted that I am probably not going up anymore...

I backed myself and PAID £8k to speak at an event for an hour trusting in my ability to impress a very influential audience

^ menu

Feedback

From my first complimentary speaker development day in Leeds...

"... I went to Clive's October session - excellent. I came out of it miles further on in my progress as a professional speaker. If you're on the fence about this one, jump off it - you should go."
Ian

"Here is your fantastic feedback. Out of 22 non-members, 18 gave you excellent & 4 very good. Out of 5 members, 4 rated you excellent and 1 very good!"

I guess I must be doing something right then, eh?

^ menu

Paying it Forward

I accept that I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't had a leg up from time to time from those who have believed in me and supported me. This section of my newsletter gives me a chance to pay some of the kindness shown to me forward for others...

There are two events that I would like to bring to your attention this time.

Raising the Bar

Raising the Bar is a day packed full of key note speeches and workshops aimed at helping you to take your business or yourself that bit higher. This all0day event starts with networking at 07.30 on Thursday 19th November at Oxfords Kassam Stadium. Tickets for the event are £199 with delegate numbers limited to 750 with seats selling quickly. I have several tickets reserved for readers of this newsletter at a discounted rate. To get hold of these contact Raising the Bar at www.rtbevents.co.uk and mention Clive Gott when you book. [More details]

Coaching for High Performance

Coaching for High Performance is a coaching development programme designed for those of us who are looking for ways to develop ourselves and others. It is designed and run by my great friend Jan Brause...

Jan Brause BSc(Hons) Psych, FCIPD, MCMI, AC Accredited Coach
Jan is a performance development coach & coach supervisor driven by a personal belief that people are unique with particular strengths to offer the world of work. Her aim is to unlock these strengths to the mutual gain of the individual and the organization. She has many years successful experience in Personal Development and Corporate Management operating at senior level across both the private and public sector.

Jan isn't someone who came out of the woodwork and saw coaching as an easy route to make a living. If you chopped her head off she would have "PASSIONATE ABOUT COACHING" written right through her body - that's why this is the ONLY coaching programme you will hear me recommend. Check out the PDF document, Coaching for High Performance, to learn more.

^ menu

A question for discussion.

If you could swap places with someone for a day, who would you choose and why?

^ menu